Note: This column was co-written with Elliott Hamilton.
Like it or not, we do have to share the country with Democrats. Sure, there’s been talk of California seceding from the Union–and reading strange headlines like “California Democrats legalize child prostitution” you almost feel inclined to push them out. But the fact is, for all their preening over transgender bathrooms and gluten-free goodness, deep down, leftists know that Whole Foods can’t supplant aircraft carriers, and they need God-fearing men with scary guns to secure their freedoms.
So here a list of New Year’s Resolutions for our friends on the other side of the aisle – the self-proclaimed tolerant – to make them more… tolerable. Who knows, follow these, and you may yet win elections.
- Tell Lena Dunham to go away.
Just one question: Which aspect of Lena Dunham’s persona did Hillary Clinton perceive as an asset to her campaign?
Was it the fact that she fabricated a story about being raped by a college Republican? Or perhaps how she described sexually abusing her own sister in the pages of her memoir? Maybe Hillary just wanted another multi-millionaire celebrity who revels in self-victimization to reach out to working-class Americans in the rust belt?
This was said after the election, but it’s an actual, direct quote from Lena Dunham: “…I still haven’t had an abortion, but I wish I had.”
Lena Dunham didn’t win Hillary a single voter (including Lena Dunham herself who hilariously didn’t vote) who wasn’t already a lifelong Democrat. Her blunt moral delinquency was a bigger liability to the Clinton campaign than pneumonia.
Juxtapose these two headlines from CNN.
October 29, 2016: Lena Dunham to campaign for Hillary Clinton in North Carolina
November 9, 2016: How Trump Won
- Don’t overuse intersectionality. Gendering glaciers makes you sound out of touch with reality.
It seems very easy to claim that various groups of people are being oppressed by shadowy figures and that everything bad in this world is connected by some evil masculine entity maliciously known as “the patriarchy.” However, when you start claiming that environmental issues can be connected to sexism, you start running down a rabbit hole that would make Alice’s journey seem like a walk in the park. There are ways to address issues of racism and sexism in this country, but there’s a better chance that pigs will fly rocket ships to Pluto than that someone will find legitimate evidence to back a theory that attempts to link the two.