THE RUSSIANS ARE COMING. QUICK, ELECT A REPUBLICAN!

After spending the last eight years pushing the notion of foreign policy as an afterthought with America needing to “lead from behind,” Democrats have suddenly recast themselves as foreign policy hawks. Particularly towards Russia.

Following last week’s report in The Washington Post regarding Attorney General Jeff Sessions’s meetings with Russia’s US ambassador last year, Democrats collectively lost their minds, calling for Sessions’s resignation with alacrity.

That story has two key points. First, Sessions’s meetings were nothing out of the ordinary (he met with over twenty-five foreign ambassadors while in the Senate), with one of the two meetings even organized by the Obama administration. Second, Sessions attended the meeting as a member of the Armed Services Committee with no ties to the Trump campaign (hence his testimony!).

Nevertheless, sharpening her tomahawk, Senator Elizabeth Warren (D-MA) tweeted, “And we need Attorney General Jeff Sessions – who should have never been confirmed in the first place – to resign. We need it now.”

The Washington Post’s’ Chris Cillizza wrote, “Jeff Sessions is in deep trouble. Bigly.”

The New York Times’s headline read: “Jeff Sessions Needs to Go.” Another of its op-edheadlines read: “What to Do With Jeff Sessions.”

Presumably, for the next four (eight, if they keep this up) years, liberals have concluded their best argument against securing the border and deporting criminal illegal aliens: THE RUSSIANS ARE COMING!

So, in light of the Democrat Party’s newfound infatuation with the former USSR, let’s briefly review the party’s history with Russia.

— WOODROW WILSON:

Near the end of the First World War, as the Bolsheviks’ rise to political prominence grew commensurate with increasing destabilization of the Romanov Dynasty, US troops were sent to Archangel, Murmansk, and Vladivostok. The campaign was called, ‘The Northern Russia Expedition.”

In 1917, as the Bolshevik revolution broke out, the Russian aristocracy was exiled and replaced with communists: Lenin, Trotsky, and Stalin (or, as they’re referred to at the University of California, Berkeley; The Three Wise Men)

Once the Armistice of Compiègne was signed in 1918, Woodrow Wilson withdrew US troops from the region instead of engaging the communist uprising. As a result, the Bolsheviks prevailed, and communism spread, leading to the mass slaughter of millions.

— HARRY TRUMAN:

President Harry Truman, at the Yalta conference, agreed with Joseph Stalin that Poland – along with the rest of Eastern Europe – would have free, democratically elected governments following its liberation from Nazi control. Predictably jettisoning that promise, Stalin went on to institute a communist, USSR-controlled puppet government in Poland. The Soviets went on to do the same in Albania, Bulgaria, Romania, Czechoslovakia, East Germany, and Hungary.

Truman’s efforts to halt (or even slow down) the Soviet Union’s rapid expansion into Eastern Europe and far-reaching influence into Turkey and Iran went nowhere.

And then we have Korea. For all their banal tirades of George W. Bush’s Iraq War (which he won, handily!) liberals are quick to forget about Truman’s disastrous Korean intervention. Despite no formal obligation to intervene, Truman sent an armada of US forces to Korea, against the Soviet-backed communists in the peninsula’s north. As the war escalated and it became clear that Truman didn’t have a clue what he was doing, much less a vision for victory, his approval rating dropped so low, it just barely hovered above smallpox.

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A Complete Timeline of Race Relations Under Obama

President Barack Obama marketed himself to the American people as penicillin to the nation’s racial woes. A vote for Obama was a vote for unity! How could you vote against that?

And so, a self-serving slice of the electorate indulged their virtuous exigencies, casting their ballot for what they perceived to be “something bigger.” Obama’s gleeful cry for “hope and change.”

Prior to the Obama presidency, President George W. Bush united Americans as… Americans through 9/11. He kept us safe, and unapologetically defended our common values of freedom and self-governance. But according to our national media, race relations prior to Obama’s presidency were like our healthcare system. Worse than Zimbabwe’s.

How successful was President Obama in mending these supposedly broken bonds? Here’s a comprehensive timeline of all the racial healing in the past eight years.

President Obama’s first headline hobnob with race-in-America dates back to the early days of his presidency. In 2009, Harvard professor Henry Louis Gates arrived home to find his front door lock jammed. He opted to force his way in through the back door. Worried neighbors weren’t sure what was happening, and in good faith alerted the police.

Upon arrival, the officers – one of whom was black – asked Gates for ID, to which Gates then infuriatingly exploded, accusing the officers of racial profiling. “This is what it means to be black in America! … Do you even know how many graduate degrees I have! Do you know who you’re dealing with here!? … I’m a professor at Harvard. CAN YOU EVEN SPELL HARVARD?”

The befuddled, browbeaten officer arrested Gates on charges of disorderly conduct for his shrieking tirade.

The newly elected President disregarded the facts, kicking off what would be a long 8 years of poisonous rhetoric aimed at law enforcement. Joining the Cambridge coterie in haranguing the white working-class officer, Obama said: “he acted stupidly.”

Fast forward three years, and the glare of the national spotlight is on Sanford, Florida. In February of 2012, Hispanic-American George Zimmerman – leader of his community’s neighborhood watch – saw a young black man, Trayvon Martin, lurking around his community. Zimmerman called the police, reporting that the man appeared to be on drugs (autopsy confirmed this) and was urinating in front of a house.

After being instructed not to pursue the suspect, Zimmerman hung up. The initial confrontation between the two remains a mystery. However, all the available evidence aligned with Zimmerman’s claim that Martin attacked him, knocking him to the ground. Jumping on top of him, Martin allegedly began beating Zimmerman, pounding his head into the pavement. Zimmerman subsequently reached for his gun, and shot Martin, killing him.

America’s racial-healer-in-chief Barack Obama responded to the incident, saying “if I had a son, he’d look like Trayvon.” Busy acting as the pillars for Obama’s skewed racial narrative, the media failed to ask why exactly the President’s son would be high, lurking around neighborhoods and beating heads onto pavements.

When Zimmerman was acquitted of all charges, riots broke out across the country. Police cars were smashed and stomped on; windows were broken. A random white guy was robbed, the assailants yelling “this is for Trayvon!”

In November 2013, police officers shot and killed 16-year-old black teenager Kimani Gray in Brooklyn, New York. After observing suspicious behavior, the officers approached Gray, and he responded by drawing a firearm, pointing it squarely at the officers. (Not a good idea).

Despite the damning evidence that the officers were fully justified in shooting the suspect, riots ensued. Between 60 and 100 people took to the streets looting shops and smashing windows, allegedly chanting “NYPD, KKK, how many kids did you kill today”. Really all the hallmarks of a post-racial Obama America.

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Here are 5 New Year’s Resolutions that Leftists Should Live By in 2017

Note: This column was co-written with Elliott Hamilton

Like it or not, we do have to share the country with Democrats. Sure, there’s been talk of California seceding from the Union–and reading strange headlines like “California Democrats legalize child prostitution” you almost feel inclined to push them out. But the fact is, for all their preening over transgender bathrooms and gluten-free goodness, deep down, leftists know that Whole Foods can’t supplant aircraft carriers, and they need God-fearing men with scary guns to secure their freedoms.

So here a list of New Year’s Resolutions for our friends on the other side of the aisle – the self-proclaimed tolerant – to make them more… tolerable. Who knows, follow these, and you may yet win elections.

  1. Tell Lena Dunham to go away.

Just one question: Which aspect of Lena Dunham’s persona did Hillary Clinton perceive as an asset to her campaign?

Was it the fact that she fabricated a story about being raped by a college Republican? Or perhaps how she described sexually abusing her own sister in the pages of her memoir? Maybe Hillary just wanted another multi-millionaire celebrity who revels in self-victimization to reach out to working-class Americans in the rust belt?

This was said after the election, but it’s an actual, direct quote from Lena Dunham: “…I still haven’t had an abortion, but I wish I had.”

Lena Dunham didn’t win Hillary a single voter (including Lena Dunham herself who hilariously didn’t vote) who wasn’t already a lifelong Democrat. Her blunt moral delinquency was a bigger liability to the Clinton campaign than pneumonia.

Juxtapose these two headlines from CNN.

October 29, 2016: Lena Dunham to campaign for Hillary Clinton in North Carolina

November 9, 2016: How Trump Won

  1. Don’t overuse intersectionality. Gendering glaciers makes you sound out of touch with reality.

It seems very easy to claim that various groups of people are being oppressed by shadowy figures and that everything bad in this world is connected by some evil masculine entity maliciously known as “the patriarchy.” However, when you start claiming that environmental issues can be connected to sexism, you start running down a rabbit hole that would make Alice’s journey seem like a walk in the park. There are ways to address issues of racism and sexism in this country, but there’s a better chance that pigs will fly rocket ships to Pluto than that someone will find legitimate evidence to back a theory that attempts to link the two.

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